WORDSINMISCHAP

A plenty of thoughts

Compromise?share thoughts?voice out? what if i really do not know how neither do i dare to voice out? never had i felt like this before. sighs 

Tried so hard and always get down and disappointed. 
Did my best and best was never enough.
Treated somebody like a priority, and i was often thrown aside.
Fought so hard but was never being fought for.
Its a cycle whereby everything gets from bad to worst.
Dealing with the harsh words,harsh actions, disappointments over and over again every single night before i sleep, i will often think back and tears never fails to roll down my cheeks before i sleep.
And when everything is good,happy moments, good memories. I will often feel insecure what if that happens again. making me more and more vulnerable.
I did my best and fought my best but yet, every single time its my fault, me apologising. when will you ever apologize for your mistakes,treats me with respect,treats me like someone who is as important as how much you truly mean to me? 

You know that feeling? When you’re just waiting. Waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day. That feeling of both relief and desperation. Nothing is wrong. But nothing is right either. And you’re tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. And you just want someone to be there and tell you it’s okay. But no one’s going to be there. And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you’re tired of waiting. Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong. And for once, you just want it to be easy. To be simple. To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won’t be. But you’re still hoping. And you’re still wishing. And you’re still staying strong and fighting, with tears in your eyes. You’re fighting.

(Source: iamalee)